Missing you

I miss how innocently and curiously you always stare,
I miss the way you ask for more finishing your share,

I miss how you push me away and take all the space,
I miss to see how violently you scratch your face,

I so much miss your smell mixed with shampoo odour,
Funny it might sound but I also miss your snore,

I miss how you lick my tears when you know I’m sad
I have no complain about your race you’re my friend I’m glad,

I miss the way you fight with me when I ask you for your bathe,
There is not a single thing in you somebody can hate,

Now that I’m not home and I think of you so often,
I keep talking about you all the time with only one person to listen…





I wasn’t feeling very good. I had a back pain, my legs were paining and I slept in the evening. Something that always gives me a crappy feeling after waking up.

So I decided to give my self a little treat and along with my room mate ordered a pizza.

Just after we finished our pizza I received a text from my boyfriend.

He texted: “You awake honey?”

I texted: “Yeah, I was trying to call you for so long 😦 ”

He texted: “Really? I didn’t know! So what would you have for dinner?”

I texted: “Come online, I’ll tell you :P”

He texted: “Come to your balcony, and turn left.”

And I saw him. There he was. Standing, smiling at me. I ran downstairs and met him. He gave me a packet. And left.

He had brought food for me!

Even though my stomach was completely full and he was giving me extra food, I felt so happy that I wanted to hug him right there.

And somehow I never told him about the pizza! And I’m quiet happy about it!



The Silent Witness

“You can’t leave”, he said as he grasped her hand.

“There is nothing left here for me” she struggled to release her hand. He held her hand so firmly, the bracelet in her hand was now actually cutting into her soft skin.

“I love you, and I won’t let you leave” he said in such a tone that sounded more like dare you leave and I’ll kill you, as her blood started dropping out of his hand.

She went back upstairs, threw her suitcase aside and sat on the floor covering her face in her hands. She was trying to go to her brother’s place. Though from her heart, she didn’t really want to leave. This was her home, why would she want to leave and drop into somebody who doesn’t really cared much about his sister. She knew her husband was having an affair yet she loved him.

She wanted to punish him, yet she loved him. She hated him, yet she loved him.

Regina entered the room swagging her tail. She came closer and licked her tears. She could always sense the pain in her mistress. The only member in the house, who actually cared about her pain.

She hugged Regina tightly and cried her heart out.

He entered the room, even more drunk, even more mad and if possible even more cruel. Sat beside her. ”Why do you want to leave me?” he said.

“Because I know you are sleeping with some other woman and you’re not even a human anymore, just like your father” she couldn’t control her temper.

“Don’t insult my father you bitch!” he banged her head on the wall holding her hair.

“You all are filthy scumbags, leave me alone you bastard” she struggled to let herself free. She could only hit him with her words, but she couldn’t free herself, she was weak.

Regina sat there confused by whatever is happening. She had the strength to attack him and save her. But how could she? He was his master too. How could she attack her own master?

“You would never insult my father or anyone of my family, ever again, neither will you leave me. Do you hear me? Never!” he was holding her throat so tight that her face was becoming red as she scratched his face to let herself free. Her face was now getting a blue shade as she stopped struggling and stopped fighting for breath as well. She started collapsing as he suddenly freed her and realized what he had done, as he was too drunk to realize what he was doing till now. He started panicking now sensing that he might have done a murder.

But he didn’t try to check if she was alive, he didn’t even try calling a doctor.

“Shut up Regina!” he said as Regina was licking her mistress’s face and crying softly. She could sense this was not a usual fight.

“You alone are responsible for your death” he said as he tied a cable wire around her neck and tied the other end with the fan and tried to hang her. But he failed as her body fell down and landed on the bed in an awkward position, appearing to be sitting with the wire around her neck.

But he had lost the chance. Regina started crying loudly after this and ran to her mistress, smelling her desperately and trying to find some sign of life in her. And her cry fetched one of his family members upstairs to see what was going on.

She screamed out aloud seeing the horrifying seen. But just in time, as he had already placed himself in the other room pretending to be asleep. Soon the whole colony was there.

“How did this happen? Why did she kill herself?” everyone had the same questions.

And the one who knew all the answers sat in the corner staring blankly at her dead mistress…


A Night to Remember

“Just keep walking and don’t talk.”

“But there are too many people standing there, what if they find out”, I half ran behind him as I struggled to keep the cloth at place tied around my breast to make my chest look flat.

“No one will find out, they’re all too busy with themselves, they wouldn’t even bother to look at you.”

“But people do look at me.”

“People look at girls. Now stop talking or people will look to see the guy who’s talking like a girl!”

“ I really don’t think I can do it. There are so many people. And the hair on the back of my neck is visible! The cap can’t hide it all. They’ll know I’m a girl.”

“Stop talking for God’s sake. They’ll notice your voice. Receive the call I’m making. Pretend like you’re on the phone.”

“I can’t do it, please walk straight, please don’t enter the gates.”

But he didn’t listen to me. He turned right and I followed like a spell bound child. And before I could realize I was walking straight into the lobby of a boy’s hostel. He ran upstairs and signaled me to wait. The longest wait of my life those 10 seconds. As soon as he signaled again I walked behind him, the rest of the world a blur to me, only thing I could see was his back. 67, 68, 69,70 the room with the lights off and the open door welcomed me and the darkness within soothed my anxious and scared mind.

“You did it honey.”

“I don’t believe it.” I embraced him and screamed with my head buried in his chest. And like a person’s  senses give up the their strongest effort to stay awake right before going into the peaceful sleep, I  let out the last cry of my anxiety out before immersing myself into the depth of his love…Image

Sherlock Effect

I am getting a feeling at the moment that reminds me of the old me 8-9 years ago. When I used to watch Harry Potter movies and cry at night. What was the reason I never knew but I really used to cry. Today after watching the 1st episode of the 2nd season of Sherlock I feel the same. Last time I was only impressed. But today I have a crush on Sherlock. Not him actually that him doesn’t exist just like the Daniel Radcliffe faced Harry Potter character I used to love. This is the same!

I love the way he pushes away THE WOMAN and yet he himself is weak towards her. But he can’t accept that to himself.

Even though Sherlock is extraordinarily smart he never guessed the feelings he inspired in Molly Hooper’s heart. Amazing. A man is like that. Is best at what he does but overlooks the things close to him.I like the way he fell for the only woman who defeated him. Well it seems so at the beginning. But she outsmarted him and then he doubled it. Amazing! (Too much use of amazing I know, but I can’t help it!)

Sometimes simple soothing comforting love is not enough! Sometimes pain is appreciated more than anything else. Weird how people minds work. We actually ask for pain. And we crave for more! Well I do.

I never knew what I wanted. But someone in my life made me realize what I want. I wanted the love of a man. But I never wanted him to accept every little thing I want. I like to earn what I want. Rather than being treated like a child and given everything that I want.

Now I kind of see what I like the most about him. It was his hard to get nature that attracted me towards him. He was not exactly nice to everyone. And God I actually loved it. I loved the way he used to criticize me. Others did it too. That made me angry. But him, I liked it.

Going back to Sherlock, I loved the way Sherlock described howImage he found Irin was in love with him. Pretty harsh! He exposed her. Only because she deceived him. Still he couldn’t forget her. He fell for her too.

People actually are attracted more to sinners than saints. And I find that this not so romantic love story attracts me more than anything else.  Because the definition of romance here is completely different. She doesn’t show care to her love. She deceives him and then he strikes back. Amazingly passionate!  So from all this I came to a conclusion.

A sweet smile can get you appreciation, but a sarcastic one can get you much more!

Asking out by mistake!

I always have been into relationships where the other one liked me first and later I liked him. This is the first time when I’m in a relationship with someone whom I was the one to like first. The first time he asked me out he did it by mistake.

It was late night and we were chatting as usual. A new mean of communication I used this much. I gave him some songs in a folder and asked if he liked them.

The song was “We can go anywhere” by Jesse McCartney. And as I asked him if he liked the song or not. He thought I was giving him a hint to ask me out, reading “We can go anywhere”. This was his first time with a girl. After a lot of trouble he finally asked me out. We both decided the place the the timing and everything. He was nervous like hell. Kind of cute actually!

But later when we were talking about whose will for the date was stronger! It became clear to both of us that all of it came out of a misunderstanding. We were both embarrassed like hell. Especially him. But it also became clear to us that we both wanted the date to happen. So we went on with the plan anyway. And had our date!

Baby take me on a journey,
I’ve been thinking lately
I could use a little time alone with you…

Jesse McCartney I owe you bigtime. You got me my fist date.

The leap of faith with a safety net!

8 years ago I began writing as a kid. I wanted to write a novel and become famous like J.K Rowling. I was so impressed that the Harry Potter effect was real than the reality to me actually. When I begun writing I never showed anybody my writing. This year I found those pages and two most important people in my life read it and actually praised my writing skills. Well one actually didn’t praise but with the attention he read was as good as a compliment to me!

The other one though said that I should become a professional writer. Too mush to take at the moment, I know. But I do intend to share my story here. Just to see if I’m good enough.

So this blog might be my first step to a long road or it might be the safety net to save me the pain of falling face down.